What is Love?

I believe the essay "What Do We Talk about When We Talk about Love" is meant as a way for us as readers to think of the way we really love.  Throughout the story it is easy to see how each character and story is related to the aspects of love in its many different forms and in different ways.  For example the characters of Nick and Laura represent a young couple still in the beginning lover’s stage where everything seems new and a sense of selflessness for one another still exists.  Mel and Terri show marriage a few years down the line and how love can become wary and tolerant.  Another aspect of love that is shown is in the story of the old couple that was seriously injured.  This shows the eternal love that never runs out and lasts forever.  Unfortunately one can see that this is often times merely a dream and that the love for a person can change when Mel is describing how he no longer has the same feelings for his ex-wife and the way that all the characters have been remarried.  By introducing all these scenarios throughout the story it is hard not to be left wondering what is love really? I think Mel says it best when he says that “What do any of us really know about love? It seems to me we’re just beginners at love.”

Although it is easy to see the theme of love in this story, there are also some underlying themes as well.  I think the way the author writes and the traits that are given to the characters are reflective of the author himself.  A common reference in the story was that of drinking gin.   As the story goes on, more and more alcohol is consumed, especially by Mel.  As a result of Mel’s drinking, he gets more and more consumed with the topic of love.  I think that Raymond Carver, being a recovering alcoholic and knowing the pains of love and loss wrote the story as an interpretation of his own struggles in life.